Shek - Roomie
Having Shek as a roommate was a gift. He was the kind of guy who you'd instantly feel comfortable with. He was the person who was the first one to ask if I'd like to go on a weekend trip in Sigiriya when I had just arrived and didn't feel as part of the community yet. He was the kind of guy who I could share anything and everything with from deep feelings to random thoughts. I managed to shock him more than once with my gross stories and behavior but no matter how disgusting I was he stayed as my friend. I really appreciate the fact that he'd directly tell to my face whenever I was an ass, and believe me it was more often than once.
What I most admire of him is his determination, guts and ambition. He is much more mature than many of his age. He has dreams that he is not afraid to go after. He came to Sri Lanka to work in advertising, though he had never been exposed to the field before. In actuality, due to others' expectations he did a degree in engineering in India. Once roads and transportation didn't really do the trick he ventured out to advertising where he could better use his creativity, ideas and high working morale. It was so interesting to listen to his stories of successes and failures at work because whatever the story was it was always told with unquestionable over-riding passion.
One day we will both be entrepreneurs and he's just the kind of business partner anyone would love to have. Hopefully our paths cross again and we can make miracles happen together. And if that happens I promise not to leave used cotton buds in your room anymore. Thanks mate for the added value you brought to my life! I miss our early morning tuk-tuk rides.
Katty – Big sister
When I started writing this I had a weird feeling that I’ve already done it. But no, I haven’t posted on Katty yet. Maybe the feeling came from the fact that I’ve already mentioned her so many times before or because I still think of her so often, though she’s already back in Croatia. She was – no she is – like a big sister for me, though there’s no age difference. In the beginning when I had the mindset that Sri Lanka can be a dangerous place I was shit-scared of even fire-crackers, not to mention thunder that made me shiver alone in my room. I’d go to Katty and she’d comfort me, being an ex-Yugoslavian and knowing exactly what sounds of war are like. First connecting factor with Katty was her extensive AIESEC experience. It didn’t take long for us to realize that we share many common acquaintances and one very good friend (one particular Macedonian called Petak). With Petak I had already felt brotherhood and thought maybe there’s a bloodline in my family that originates from Balkans. With Katty that feeling just strengthened.We would share our frustrations, our moments of happiness, our dreams and hopes. There was nothing we couldn’t talk about. That led to a number of situations where we were the only ones still up when all the rest had already gone to bed. In a way, she was also my shrink: being interested in psychology and having genuine willingness to listen she’d guide me through the darkest valleys of my time in Sri Lanka.
Previously I had one brother and one sister that have always been there for me and that I love so much. Now I have one more sister. Thanks Katty for being there for me! I’ll keep my promise and we’ll meet again.
Wily - The Sinha Raja
Wily wasn’t living in Rome but his social nature made him a real Roman. He was spending more time in Rome than in P-house where he officially stayed.
We were trying to get Wily working for Unleash Talent Inc but it was not because of our company that he came to Sri Lanka. Adventure Asia got him first. As soon as I saw his CV I was impressed. And it was not just empty words on paper: Wily is one of the most uniquely intellectual people I’ve ever met. His strong side was cultural integration. Though he was in Sri Lanka only for three months he learned more of the language, culture and local people than maybe any of us. He quickly made friends with the locals and his smile charmed pretty much everyone around him.
Not only was he the joke-machine for any occasion, he was an excellent cook. More than once he treated us with his Indonesian delicacies. As a matter of fact I wouldn’t mind fulfilling one of my dreams some time in the distant future with him: opening a common restaurant. That brings up another one of his several good qualities: Though only in his late 20s he’s already started, failed and succeeded with many of his own companies. One day, he’s going to make it big! Wily, you are going to be a beautiful entrepreneur!
Changing ways
For a person brought up in western society the Sri Lankan Sunday paper can be quite a shock to read. There you have the classified adds as in any other country but apart from the vehicles, apartments and home electronics the most space is used by potential brides and grooms (or more often their parents) who are looking for a partner. I'm quite fine with that now that I've been exposed to the Sri Lankan cultural oddities for more than a year, but today I was shocked. I saw the following add:
"Relationships are selfish and self-centered that’s my experience; Therefore I don’t believe in long lasting marriages and relationships. Explore each other’s personalities will give us a glimpse of a new life. This way of looking at life is hard. Marriage will be an endresult but if only we both feel it’s workable. I am in my late 30’s, a Sri Lankan. Lets try to come from our traditional barriers and cultures. Even you are in a marriage, still we can discuss this new approach of life. Lets talk."
What this guy is saying is against the public opinion here, and he clearly acknowledges that fact. Still, at the same time he's using the "traditional way" - classifieds - to get in touch with people who'd share his view. I don't know whether to be impressed, confused or something in between.
Ralph – Our monkey
Anyone who’s known me before I left to Sri Lanka might not believe that it’s possible to have someone even more “social monkey” like character than me but – oh yes – Ralph exceeds all the stunts I’ve ever done. When with him continuous amusement is guaranteed. He has an innate ability to make humor out of any situation.
But he is much more than a joker. We’d have loads of late night discussions with him about entrepreneurship, future, consulting, Sri Lankan business environment, relationship and what not. I could really connect with him and I was so sad when he left.
He also showed his kind-heartedness by silently organizing a fundraising campaign in the Netherlands and donating the revenue (over 5000 euros) to a Sri Lankan orphanage. He did it out of goodwill and never wanted any credit of it.It’s good to know there’s such a great friend waiting for me when I go back to Europe. Now I have one more reason to visit Holland, a country where I still haven’t been in. Nijmegen, beware when these two get together again!
Safety of a leader
I first thought of posting this to our Leadership Blog, but it became so personal that this is a better place for it.
I just heard that the Sri Lankan government officials who are responsible of escorting politicians and other top leaders have been given orders not to stop at any circumstance. I read this from a local car magazine. The editor said he’s seen massive Land Rovers being brought to repair after smashing something heavy on their way, driving at a considerably fast.
Fine, being in general public you should of course know these things. When the police tell you to stop, you stop. But what if there is no police around and you just happen to go on the street with your bicycle, car or whatever it is you’re driving? What if the VIP escort crashes you and just speeds off? Who is responsible? You are. You should have known. You are even expected to bear the costs. They don’t have insurance for something like that. You should have.
Right, so orders are orders. What to do? I’m not blaming the drivers. In the end they are just doing their job. They can’t refuse obeying the orders, otherwise they would be part of the general public avoiding the escorts, without a job.
But how about those highly important people in the vehicle behind them who are being escorted? How do they feel when they see a kid bleeding in the ground that they’ve just ran over? What leaders are so self-righteously important that they can allow something like this to happen? How would you feel being in that car?
Anyhow, physical safety is just one aspect of challenges that contemporary leaders have to deal with. Reputation of a leader, for example, could sometimes use a bodyguard, am I right? And what about mental safety of leaders who are in the spotlight? That extreme pressure can even lead to physical damage. Shouldn’t that be protected somehow?
When I was a teenager, I knew I’d be something big one day. I had ambitions – and still have – that will lead to some amount of public exposure. I thought what would happen if I’m applying for some leadership position later on in my life and the press decides to do a background check? There are more than enough silly pictures of me and there are my writings out there that can be misinterpreted in many ways. Of course all that could be used against me, so why wasn’t I afraid of making it all public?
It’s a choice – a choice to have no fear. It’s also admitting the very fact that I’m just a human being – with all my flaws, errors and imperfect history. That very fact is forgotten by so many people who become leaders. They think they’re above everyone else. They think they can have rights that others don’t have. They think they’re not responsible. What a misconception.
In the meantime, we have a generation of leaders growing up who are so used to whatever Habbo Hotels, Facebooks, IRC galleries, and Blogs that they might not even think how exposed they are to anyone who wants to misuse their conduct in the web.
Even the fact that I've chosen to publicize my contact details in this blog is questionable. I meant them for my friends and acquaintances but in reality any weirdo could pick them up and start harassing me. But that's life of the blue-eyed.
Treat your leaders, team members and peers equally and protect their mental, emotional, physical and spiritual safety. We're all just human beings, with feelings.
PS. There's one more thing that can possibly cause me gray hair with publicity; I just finished the 2nd last version of my book. I don't know if I'm ever willing to publish it, but if you want to read the draft version, you may request it by email.
Sasha – My hug-buddy
This particular Russian is one of the most peculiar characters I’ve ever had a chance to know. She had a habit of having long conversations with herself, for instance. I’d be smoking on a bench just outside Rome and she’d come out of the house with a weird look on her face. Before I could ask anything she’d say that my presence interrupted a conversation that she was just having (there was no one else around). Seemingly we shared something in common in all that weirdness because we became very good friends.
Once I complained to Sasha how there’s no one around to hug anymore after leaving the “active AIESEC career”. She suggested we would have a daily hug. And we did. It was a nice start for a day, seeing her run from whatever she was attending to just to give me a hug. Now, how many people do you know who would do something like that?
From the very beginning I was wondering why she’s all the time asking from anyone if they wanted something from the shop, if she could make them tea, or without asking taking their dirty dishes away and washing them. That was behavior unheard of for me. Maybe it thought me a bit of a lesson.
I’m glad to say that one day I most likely will work with her in Finland, Russia or maybe in Sri Lanka. Even if I wouldn’t get a pleasure of working with her, I know she will always be my hug-buddy. And we’ll meet again!
I told me so
When it was Katty’s last evening in Kirulapone before going back home to Croatia, we stayed up having a chat though nearly everyone else had hit the sack already. We discussed about how hard it will be to re-integrate and all the things she will miss. Back here she had arranged pretty much all practicalities when it comes to work and handling all the other nitty-gritties before leaving. There was one thing, though, that was consuming her mind: She had not found a buyer for her Gizmo (a local moped brand). For a while I had secretly hoped that she would ask me to buy it, because it seemed such and easy means to get around in the traffic wilderness of Colombo. I hesitated to suggest a possible purchase however because I know how troublesome it can be to own something, not least something involving technology.
Let’s rewind a bit… There was a time that I used to drive my own car (-89 Suzuki Swift). I liked the car since it allowed freedom and independence to some extent. Nonetheless, there was always something to be fixed and it caused me a lot of grey hair. Even my wallet didn’t like it. So, one fine summer Sunday as we sat next to a bonfire and relaxed on the beach with some friends I realized how much less complicated life would be if I didn’t have the car. In the meantime I had heard my friend talking about buying a car but not having money so I decided to do both of us a favor. I asked if he would like to buy some gasoline from me for 30 Euros. He was perplexed. I explained he would get the container for free. He still didn’t get it. I reached to my pocket and took out the Suzuki key. Next day he was a proud owner of that piece of crap. But hey, it was only 30 E.
So with this experience pounding still at the back of my head I wasn’t that ready to just go and buy some more worries for myself. As a matter of fact it was a bit against my “simple life” credo that I’ve followed for the past few years (i.e. got rid of nearly all my earthly belongings). However since it was again a similar situation where I would help out a friend to get rid of her troubles and possibly gain something myself in the deal I agreed to get the damn thing of her hands. She was happy.
Then Katty left and there I was staring at the half-malfunctioning means of transport. I was happy too. Some time passed as Gizmo was taken to be serviced. When it came back the only thing missing was some small piece from the silencer. I think I referred to this already in some previous posting. Anyways, I was dumb enough to take it for a ride and the whole silencer dropped somewhere on the street. So, after some more investments I was set to go. I quickly realized that it is the quickest and cheapest (excluding public bus) means of transport in the city. I loved it.
After just a few days of cruising around I hit a curb trying to avoid getting hit by a bus and the left pedal eventually fell of. Now, I might have mentioned how Sri Lankans tend to find quick-fixes instead of long-term solutions. In that sense (also) I’ve become quite Sri Lankan. I took some super glue and tried to glue the pedal back on. Of course it didn’t last for too long so I just pocketed the pedal and tried to start it up by using only the right-side pedal. After some sweating it worked. Sometimes, though, I have to install the other pedal temporarily and remove it after it starts. For a few weeks now I’ve been carrying the loose pedal in my pocket or back pack just in case I need it (sometimes I do).
Ok, fine, good enough for me. But then another blunder occurred. One day I was leaving from the office and the rear tire didn’t have any air. I drove the Gizmo to the nearest place where they sell (nope, it’s not free here) air and filled the tire. Since it didn’t seem to deflate I didn’t bother getting the tire patched or replaced. That was about a week ago.
This morning the same thing happened again. No air! Duh! So, I pushed the bike to a tire shop and asked them to patch it finally. I had some errands to run anyways so I could easily wait for half an hour and change the 300 rupees they were asking for her. So, after about 50 minutes (Sri Lankan half an hour) and 350 rupees later I got my baby back and started off for work (being terribly late already). After about 500 meters I heard a loud scratching noise and the rear tire locked. I stopped just to see that the chain had fallen off. Of course I didn’t have more tools than a plain screwdriver with me so I fought with it for a good 30 minutes and headed back towards the tire shop. No matter how carefully I tried to drive the chain fell off again. I went through a few moments of desperation, thought of leaving it there, and just running back home to sleep (‘cos by now I was about 300 meters from our house… good progress, no?).
I reminded myself of patience being a virtue, took the screwdriver, put the chain back on and continued for another 40 meters. Again! Had enough, took the bike and shoved it into a tuk-tuk, got myself squeezed between the trishaw seat and the bike, told the machang (dude) to drive back to the tire shop, landed there, hissed something at the fellow who couldn’t understand why I’m bringing the bike back in a friggin’ three-wheeler and, after some time of trying to calm down, explained the situation to him. The tuk-tuk driver was getting raring to go and demanded to have his money. I asked the tire shop people to pay the poor fellow but they refused saying it’s none of their problem. I articulated the facts in a very Tomi-like non-sophisticated way and managed to piss off the owner of the shop. End result? They paid him and as of now they are re-fixing the bike for free. I just hope they don’t fix a Gizmo-bomb to it and that I get it back still today.
The learning point? Who knows…
Rasmus - The "OK" man
Rasmus Vido was a controversial character. For anyone who didn’t know him he appeared as the most silent person in the group. But anyone who really knew him knew also that he’s an absolute party animal and the soul of
Rome.
He wasn’t exactly a party starter, but he did have an fascinating way of life: he was the “ok” man. Whatever you’d suggest to him, he would do it. Even if he was still working in the evening and you asked him for a beer he would be there in less than ten minutes. That led to interesting situations where Rasmus was hanging, climbing, crossing, and whatevering the most imaginable places. He would climb a pole and drop himself in the middle of a party. He would climb a tuk-tuk roof. He would do the craziest things, while exceeding expectations at work and taking care of his physical, mental and spiritual shape.
I used to do so much with him. He kept me active. We’d go and play football. We’d go and meditate with middle aged Sri Lankan women. We’d chase cars and tuk-tuks that wouldn’t take a hitch hiker early in the morning.
Rasmus left Sri Lanka in December and all of us climbed the roof of Rome just to commemorate all the good things he brought to us. Now he’s a consultant in Danish Post and taking steps to become a real adult. Rasmus, never lose your inner child! Hosch!
365
This is the 365th day of my internship in Sri Lanka (and #100 posting). It doesn’t differ much from the other days on the outset but it bears symbolical meaning for me. In the beginning I was trying to survive day by day, getting used to the new environment. I was counting days, weeks and months that I had done. I remember how insurmountable the time ahead felt when I had completed one month. 17/18 to go I thought.
Now I’m no longer afraid of the time ahead of my stay; I’m more ahead of the time ahead after the internship. Or not maybe afraid, but I wonder if I’m ever going to see the world as it was, if I’m at all able to adjust to the hasty European life-style, even if I have anymore what it takes to survive a Finnish winter. Not to mention the challenges ahead in the professional life. At the same time I feel a bit sad. This is my home now and after the last 1/3 I have to leave home behind. But I know I will come back sooner than later.
I was thinking how I could best amplify the importance of this posting; whether I should be talking about the 10 things I hate/love about Sri Lanka or something else that would sum up the experience so far. But it all feels so shallow. Because in the end it’s not the country as such that makes your experience complete. It’s the people around you. I realized I haven’t given enough emphasis on the people who have been there for me every day; my fellow interns, the citizens of Rome.
Jara
I start the series of introductions with Jaroslav Pekachek, or Jara, who was working at the same office with me in the beginning. He was the one who showed me around and made it so much easier to face all the peculiarities of the new culture. He was the one who offered to be my roommate when I learned to hate my lonely heat-hell (the first room assigned to me).
I admired, and still do, his adventurous approach on life. Apart from his extreme hobbies like climbing, snowboarding and mountain biking he genuinely lives for adventure. He has managed to combine his love of adventure with his tendency to help others in the project in India that I’ve already mentioned a couple of times.
But more important is what he is, not what he does. I never saw him angry, hardly ever even a least bit
anxious. He always carried a smile on his face and made himself easy to cope with. His laid-back attitude was contagious. In his company you could just relax and enjoy. When offered a drink he wouldn’t spit in the bottle; he lived every day as it came by. If he felt like partying to 4 AM and climbing roofs he did it with genuine commitment whilst holding himself accountable to wake up at six in the morning for work.
So that this wouldn’t sound like obituary I must thank him once more for his hospitality in his home country Czech Republic. We had such a nice time together on my visit there. And yes, he’s still alive – more than ever! Thank you Jara for being such a great friend!
